Those were the Days
by TheTrueWolfBrother
Summary: Is this the happy,cheerful Ayumu we know? How things could´ve gone for the girls after graduation, focus on Ayumu. It´s actually an AngstRomanceDramaComedy, if that´s possible. Rated "R" for blood,language and Shoujo-ai.
1. Default Chapter

This is now up for the third time XD, but this time I´ve been spending alot more time editing the fic after uploading it, so that it is  
easier to read for you, the readers ;). I do hope that this won´t be taken down for yet another time and that I´ll get banned ( :( ), but I really like this fic and how it is going so I´ll add it once more.  
If it is taken down yet again...I hope I haven´t used all my warnings and that I will still be able to post others of my fictions that I´ll probably write.

If there´s something you don´t like or find inappropriate for a rating of "R" then please send me an email or review and I will fix it, don´t just report my fic instantly, please? I am asking you for just a small favour here that will probably increase both your and my experience of this fic.

Disclaimer: I don´t own Azumanga Daioh and this counts for every chapter I add to this story.

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"Those were the days."

Kasuga Ayumu looked at the words she had written down. They where referring to the days of high school she had been experiencing with her friends.  
She always remembered those days of happiness with a wide smile and a dreamy look in her eyes.  
Those days of fun,when they had been together everyday. They had no worries,not a single concern in their lives.  
What had mattered was the now,what they were doing right there...It had been so wonderful.

Ayumu always remembered them with a smile,but...after a while she would look at the now,at her grey-yellow walls.  
She´d look around herself and see her gray,sad appartment...her one room...her confinement.  
She´d be remembered of the bills,the eviction threats and her empty fridge.

Yes,she´d always remember those days with a smile.

And then she would cry.

Feeling the sadness build up in her again Ayumu looked at the words on the paper in front of her.  
They were supposed to be the beginning of her book...The book she had tried to write a thousand times...

It had always started with those words...mostly because that is how she felt about them.  
Those WERE the days...the only time she´d been really happy...

Scrolling back through time, Ayumu remembered the day when they went from her first year to her second.  
How worried she had been for the possibility of being separated from her friends,she hadn´t slept, she had been a wreck.

And when they were standing in front of the class lists and she didn´t see her name...her whole world had ended at that moment.She would never be happy again, of that she was sure, never again would she laugh with the others.  
Her life had flashed before her, the part she considered worth remembering, her days with the other girls all flew by her,day after day,every last blissfilled day.

Untill Yomi,blessed Yomi, had pointed out that Yukari had written her up as Osaka.Tears welled up in Ayumu´s eyes as she remembered the nickname she´d always been called by after that first day.  
Ayumu started chuckling at her own air-headedness...

"Chiyo-chan...Sakaki-san...Yomi-chan...Tomo-chan...Kagura-san...Sensei"...

As the faces flew by her vision,all smiling like they had those days, the chuckling eventually became sobs and Ayumu grabbed the sides of her head...

The sobs ravaged the petite body untill it constantly shook, and not for the first time it happened that tears started blurring out the letters written on the paper.

Eventually the crying subsided,the words on the paper were now nothing more than inkstains,mocking her pathetic life.  
A growl from her stomach told Ayumu that she should feed her body,but she ignored it.  
Forcing herself she rose from the chair she was sitting in,she glanced outside the window and saw that it was snowing again.

A sad smile grew on her lips as she watched the small spots of white against the black background of the night forest behind her appartment.  
This was just why Ayumu had moved to Hokkaido,the weather and the nature.

Snow had always cheered Ayumu up,she didn´t know why, but being out in the crisp, cold air with snow coming down from the winter nightsky had always been one of the few things able to cheer her up.

With a look of disgust Ayumu looked around her appartment.

It had yellow-grayish walls,a brown study desk that had seen better days, a kitchen bench with a small stove with one plate, a small fridge with a few soft drinks and cup ramens in it, a greenish sofa that she pulled out to sleep on when she had to and a small tv-set set she´d never used during the years she´d have it.

With no further ado Osaka grabbed her coat and put on her shoes.  
Neither was very good protection against the cold,but she didn´t care,she was going to mix with the snow.

Like she had done so many times before.

As she opened the door the cold air greeted her with promises of well being.  
The snow fell heavily on her brown hair as she ran behind the building.  
She ran untill she came to a big,flat rock up by the edge of the forest,about 40 metres away from the building.

With some work she managed to climb on top of it.  
When she had seated her self with her legs stretched out Ayumu sat and just felt the snow all around her for some time.  
When the usual drowsiness began to get to her she stuck her hand into her pocket and searched a little while.

A sudden,sharp pain in her finger told her she´d found what she had been searching for.  
When she pulled out her han again it had a cut at the end of her thumb, as well as a razor blade in it.

Chuckling sleepily she said "hehehe,oh no...I cut myself...haha..."

Then she pulled up her right sleeve and displayed her pale,blueish,scarred wrist.  
Her wrist was covered in scars from other times like this.

Her experienced hand lead the blade till it was at her wrist,then with precise motions she started cutting several long,deep scars that bled heavily.  
The dark,red liquid flowed unto her pants and unto the snow.  
As the blood flowed out of her,Ayumu felt her depressed self also flow out of her,little by little as so many times before.

This time however there was a lot more blood.  
"Good...more of me disappears...into the snow...I am one with the snow..."

Suddenly her vision was getting blurry and hurriedly it faded.  
Swaying, Ayumu threw a last look at her window, there was light there, and...people?...who could that be?...who would come to visi...

Ayumu never finished the thought because her body couldn´t take anymore.

As her head smashed into the icy rock she heard Chiyo call her nickname..."Osakaaaaaaa!"

The world faded into black...


	2. Chapter 1:Who are These Girls?

Chapter 1 is up,but sadly it´s pathetically short.

I guess I´m still working on the introduction of the story,but it´s gonna get better,I promise.

No,I mean it,I don´t own Azumanga Daioh...

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A screeching of tires woke her from the darkness...the blessed darkness.. A voice right above her yelled something,Ayumu caught the words "driving" and "Yukari".  
Somewhere deep inside Ayumu felt she should be scared,but she didn´t remember why and thus,couldn´t care less.

Slowly she focused,there should be some light in all this black...maybe if she opened her eyes?  
Hmm,opening her eyes sounded like a good idea.Yeah,lets give it a go.  
Uh...how was it again?...focus...focus...

Ah!

Ayumu focused all her energy to a point in the middle of the emptiness and then she tried to raise it upwards.  
The darkness refuse to budge...lifting it is like trying to lift a jellyfish...it´s just slips out of your grip...hmm,I wonder what jellyfishes taste like..  
Fish or jelly?

"Look,Sakaki!Her eyes are open!"

"Ah..."

"Uhhh...ahh..."

Ayumu lets the thought about jellyfishes slip away and her "dreamvision" goes away and she sees a round face with two big, concerned eyes.  
"Hi?"

"Osaka-san!You´re awake!"  
The eyes look up from her face and towards something opposite of the girl.  
Tears start to fall from them unto Ayumu´s face.

"She´s awake,Sakaki-san!She´s awake."

Ayumu turns her head to look up into the face of a beautiful woman with long black hair.The stern,yet cute look on her face looking strangely familiar.

For the first time she looks at her surroundings. Directly above her is a roof of sorts, white and shiny ,to her sides,behind the two girls she spots red walls with several weird things hanging on them and below her she feels a constant vibration and a low rumble can be heard, emanating from somewhere.

Looking from one girl to the other,she finally asks.

"Where am I?"

With tears in her eyes the girl with the orange hair puts on a serious face, gently places her hands on Ayumu´s arm and explains.

"You´re in an ambulance,you´ve lost alot of blood and you´ve also..." The girl looks away and with a silent voice she mutters.." and you´ve also hit your head pretty bad..."

Ayumu abruptly started chuckling,her breath came out in short bursts of laughter.  
The girl above her grabbed her by her shoulders and with those concerned eyes she begged Ayumu.

"Please,don´t move around, your head won´t be able to cope with it."

Ayumu manage to calm down her frantic chuckling and with a dreamy look and a small smirk she looks up at the girl.

"Hehe,you know,I hit my head all the time..." Her eyes seem to grow abit distanced for a second,but just as fast they return to her normal,dreamy look. "Actually I every part of my body´s usually hitting something.It´s probably just a bump like always,let me feel it."

"Uhhmm...ok...but..." Somehow Ayumu found the strength to lift her head and then lift a hand up behind her head.

For some reason the pillow was wet where her head had been.  
Not giving it a second thought Ayumu started feeling around her backhead,the girls above her were looking really worried now.  
Then she felt that her hair had a very dry and stiff feeling to it,sort of like it had dried blood in it.  
Searching around Ayumu found something like the edge of a crack,curious she followed it abit,for several centimeters it stretched.

Then,with a horror it hit her.

Her head had cracked!

Panick gripped her and abruptly she sat up and grabbed the young girl with the concerned eyes.  
The girl had no time to react and when she looked into Ayumu´s crased,possessed eyes she stiffened in fright.

"WHAT HAPPENED?WHAT HAPPENED TO ME!"

Suddenly the car twisted and the screeching of brakes could be heard several blocks away.  
Whatever Ayumu was sitting on loosened and without warning she skidded towards the door that made up for the wall in front of her.  
She didn´t have time to react at all,still hanging unto the younger girl, Ayumu slipped and rolled towards the door.  
With a crash her head connected to the metal,Ayumu´s head ricocheted off the door and she flew back unto the makeshift bed and she passed out.

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She gently opened her eyes and what she saw was the white sheets that were covering her legs and strecthing all the way over to the steely grid at the end of her bed.Opposite to her feet and all around her was a white-yellowish curtain that reminded her of old,musty things.

Somewhere behind her eyes a dull, constant banging took place and made it feel like her head would rip outwards and collapse at any second. She raised her hands to her head and clutched it,there was a bandage surrounding it,making it feel like it had been shut up in a place too tight.  
Stuck in her left arm was a cord,which lead to a bag ,filled with clear liquid, that was suppported on a steel pole lookalike thingie.

There were alot of other cords connected to machines at her sides,machines that glowed with a phenomorphic,green light as numbers and various diagrams were displayed.  
Suddenly she became aware of all the noises around her.To both her sides there was the constant beeping of the machines and from somewhere behind the curtain she could her bird singing and the stereotypical stereo of a place buzzing with people.

The girl looked at her left wrist where the cord was plugged...it didn´t feel right to have something stuck inside her..."I don´t want you there."...

And with those words she began tugging at the plug,and with a somehow hidden strength she pulled it right out. Pain stung in her wrist and blood trickled out from the hole.Still,the satisfaction of having removed the alien thing grew in her. She looked at all the other wires and cords and looked at the machines they were attatched to,their inane beeping made her head hurt even more. Maybe they wouldn´t beep as much if she pulled out everything?...She nods to herself and starts pulling.

Some of the machines stopped the beeping at once,but one in particular was now just sounding one long beep.The girl looked at the noisy machine and wished she had something to hit the stupid thing with.She looked around once more,but couldn´t see anything just long or blunt enough.

"BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP"

"Shut UP!Shut UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP"

The girl yelled in a droning voice for as long as she could muster before she ran out of breath.  
She proceeded with trying to reach for it,but it was a couple of feet away,so no could do.  
Her arms flailed and what could only be a growl came from somewhere in her throat.  
Staring at the thing that was now currently turning her headache into something inbareable, she took another big breath and decided to try to outyell it.

"SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..."

She was interrupted as the curtain was pulled aside to reveal a man with a white coat,blue shirt with a black tie and brown pants came inside with a flashlight in his hand and some strange strap-on,disc-like, lamp thingie on his head.As he saw the girl sitting up yelling at the machine he couldn´t do anything but simply mope at her..

"UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPP."

Turning towards her visitor the girl hastily took another breath and with a serious face she yelled at the man instead.  
"Can you make that thing quit beeping so damn loud?"  
The man in the coat didn´t quite react at first,but eventually he gathered himself,went "Uh...yeah." and stepped up to the machine and pressed some button.

Feeling her headache getting better by the second the girl calmed down and got out a "Thank you" before she closed her eyes, leaned back on her pillows and went to sleep.

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Waking up,the girl could feel the light sheets covering her body and she also felt a sting of hunger coming from her body.

Blinking a few times, she slowly opened her eyes and was greeted by a room instead of curtains, however, all over the room,in different positions were several girls,or should she say women?.

One,with a dark tan and spiky brown hair,lay in a simple plastic chair and supported her head on the wall behind it.

Another one was laying with her head in the lap of a girl sitting up by the wall,the girl sitting up had a pair of big spectacles on her nose and long brown hair.The one on her lap was drooling with a silly smile on her face,her hair was black and about shoulder long,but it was hard to tell because she was sleeping on most of it.

On what looked like the only comfortable spot in the room,a little,dark blue couch,there were two girls sprawled.

The one hanging on the right side was a short girl ,that looked a few years younger than everyone else, with an orange,kinda nutty, colour for her hair.She had cut her hair short and only had it neck long,but it looked very nice on her.On the left side, half sitting, half on her back, was the last girl, she had long,black hair that stretched to her thighs and the only thing ruining the whole picture of a sleeping beauty was the imistakable drool in the corner of her mouth.

Everybody was fast asleep and some of them were snoring quite loudly.  
The girl in the bed looked around and got quite curious why there were a bunch of girls sleeping in her room.  
Then she really looked around for the first time.  
"By the way...were am I?"

Then it hit her...

"Who am I?"


	3. Chapter 2:Questions

Disclaimer:...argh!...I don´t own Azumanga Daioh...maybe I´ll make a new char just so I can own something?...nah.

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As the morning light was shining through the hospital windows the girls around the room started to wake up.

Chiyo stretched her not-so-long body ,rose and walked over to the bed containing her friend.  
When she came closer she saw that Osaka wasn´t awake,Chiyo looked at the thin and fragile body.  
Osaka was starting to look like she had starved to dea...no...I shouldn´t think like that´ Chiyo chided herself.

But she does look like she hasn´t eaten in months.Doesn´t she?´

The arms on top of the sheets were bone thick and the skin on Osaka´s face looked like it was stretched too tight over it.  
Chiyo grabbed one of Osaka´s hands in her own and she felt the tears behind her eyes.  
She closed them before any came out though...she´d promised herself she wouldn´t cry again,not untill Osaka grew better.

"Osaka-san...please wake up soon...please?"  
As Chiyo spoke , the girl´s eyes started to twitch at the light. She felt someone holding her hand in their´s...

Good,maybe they can tell me something?´

The girl opened her eyes and saw a girl with her eyes closed, clutching her hand, it was the little girl with the orange hair.She looked at her for a few seconds, trying to make out what the girl was muttering to herself, but she eventually grew abit tired of it and decided that she would ask her, no matter how rude it was to interrupt her in whatever she was doing.

"Excuse me,but...could you tell me who I am?"

At first Chiyo thought she was hearing things,but she opened her eyes,just in case,just maybe...

As she looked at where the head should be Chiyo couldn´t help but yelp in joyful surprise.  
Without warning Chiyo threw her arms around Osaka and hugged her in what should be a bearhug but wasn´t quite powerful enough.  
The little girl threw her arms around her and nearly crushed the girl in the bed.

Warm tears started dripping on her neck,and the girl kept on saying something but it couldn´t be made out between the sobs.Surprised at first,the girl in the bed didn´t know what to do at first, someone she didn´t recall at all was hugging her like...uh...like...well very hard.  
Deciding that it couldn´t hurt the girl put her arms around the younger girl and hugged back.

Eventually Chiyo got a hold of herself and released Osaka from her bearhug (or attempt of) and wiped the tears from her eyes.

Before the girl in the bed got to ask anything, the little girl and yelled to the others.

"Hey,everybody, wake up! Osaka-san woke up!"...Osaka?...is that my name? It doesn´t feel right.´

"She´s awake?It was true!"

Before Osaka could say anything (again) her bed was surrounded by the girls from last night,asking alot of questions, but not anyone that Osaka could quite acknowledge.Especially two of them were insistant,the one with the spiky,brown hair and the drooler.  
Luckily it didn´t take long before the tall girl showed and made them shut up.  
"Hey,take it easy guys...I´m sure Osaka-san can answer your questions one by one,right Osaka-san?"

Suddenly everybody went silent and now Osaka was even more the focus of attention.She looked at one after the other before she finally got out. "I kinda got a few questions myself...?"

Chiyo made her way out from between Tomo and Kagura , as much as she was able to at least.  
"Of course,ask away." She said with a bright smile.

The most confused look ever came over Osaka´s face, a very disturbing look.. "Who am I?"

The girls were dumbfounded.  
After a few seconds the one with the spiky hair finally got out.  
"Uhmmm,what do you mean ,who are you?"

"What do you think I mean? I mean,Who am I?What person?...and another thing...Who are you people?"

Everybody gasped,none of them had considered this...She had forgotten who they were?...How could she forget those years they had been together everyday, their lunches on the roof and their summers at Chiyo´s beachhouse?

They didn´t get any answers but their Osaka looking at them with a confused and partially angry look in her eyes.

Chiyo,who had a quick mind compared to some of the others, hastily gathered herself and decided that Osaka was the victim here,and she needed their support.  
"Oh,excuse us for being so rude.You´re Kasuga Ayumu,I´m so sorry for calling you Osaka,but that´s our nickname for you,we are your best friends.We all went through highschool together. I think you are currently suffering from a memoryloss Kasuga-san."

A puzzled look came over Osaka´s face and the girls waited in anticipation for her response.  
"Oh..." Was all she managed to get out.  
Chiyo was concerned about Osaka-san,she was probably very confused right now.  
Looking at her Chiyo couldn´t shake the feeling that something had changed in the Osaka she had grown to know.

Suddenly , a loud growl that seemed to emit from ever fiber of Osaka´s stomach startled Chiyo out of her thinking.  
Sheepishly she asked. "Err,Kasuga-san...are you hungry?"

The response came in another loud growl from somewhere below the sheets.

The old,dopey smile appeared on Osaka as she said.

"Yes!"

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Ayumu looked at her meal.There was soup,some kind of mash,juice and a strange green jello that would´ve looked like it had had it´s part in a bad horror movie from the fifties.  
Still Ayumu didn´t mind as she ate everything on the table,even though she was starved and hadn´t eaten properly since,well since she could remember, she ate in the usual,slow manner she always had.

All the girls had left,except for the little one,the one who said her name was Mihama Chiyo...  
As Ayumu finished her food she couldn´t help but think to herself.There´s something suspicious about those pigtails...hmm...What if I...?´

Without warning Ayumu stretched over and grabbed Chiyo´s pigtails and then proceeded by lifting her right one abit.  
When the left one didn´t move as well Ayumu said back in her bed with a puzzled look and an "oh...I guess I was wrong then..."

During the whole event Chiyo beamed with a smile as Osaka did what she had done so many times before.And as Osaka sat back Chiyo couldn´t help but laugh.

Ayumu looked at the laughing Chiyo-chan, feeling just a tad irritated. "What´s so funny?"

Chiyo eventually settled her laughing and Ayumu looked into those big,happy eyes.

"What you just did is something you´ve done so many times before,and when you did that just now you reminded me of the old Osaka-san."

"Am I not the same Osaka-san that you knew?"

The serious question caught Chiyo off guard and she flinched a little,but her cheery smile was soon up again.  
"Oh,I am sorry,I´ll try to explain...eto...something is changed about you Osaka-san,I can´t really put my finger on it,but somehow you´ve changed since last I saw you. I cannot explain what it is,it´s just a feeling I have."

"Hmm...maybe,I don´t know...Say,where did all those other girls go?"

"They went to see if we could take you and leave here,you´ve been here for three weeks, and to be honest the doctors doubted you would wake up at all."

Ayumu was shocked...she had been lying here for three weeks?...the doctors doubted she would wake up?...

"Chiyo-chan,what happened to me?Since I ended up like this?"

Chiyo had dreaded this moment, and here it was already.  
Maybe it´s best if I try to avoid that question for now?...I mean...it could be a major shock to her if she found out what she´d been doing and how she had been living. Yes,lets avoid.´

"Uhmm,that´s not all that important right now,what´s important is that you get dressed and ready to leave,we´re going to celebrate our anniversary and we´re leaving for my winter hut in Hokkaido,not far from where you live yourself."

"Anniversary?What anniversary?"

"The "8-years-since-we-first-met-each-other Anniversary",that one."

"Oh?That sounds fun,but...I can´t even remember ever having seen you guys before...would it be appropriate?"

Chiyo couldn´t help but feel a little sting of pain as Osaka told her the truth.  
"Of course it is appropriate!We will all tell stories about those days and maybe you will remember some of everything that happened."

"Ok,I´ll come,it sounds like it could be alot of fun."

Just as the words left her mouth Kagura came crashing in through the door and grinned widely at the two.

"It took some persuading,but Osaka-chan´s now good to go!"


	4. Chapter 3: Fun in the Snow

Disclaimer:Azumanga Daioh and it´s characters is not my work...

A/N: I´m concerned about a certain thing...Whenever I write a chapter I seem to drag on at the same spot for ages.So I wanted to consult you, my readers. I ask of you to, when you review,please give an opinion if I should try to make things

move faster ahead. Other than that I know this isn´t all that angsty , but there will be angst, I just gotta get things going XD.

Excuses: If my language suck I blame it on the fact that my first language is Norwegian, and that English is not an official language in Norway XD

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Ayumu looked out through the window and into the night of Hokkaido.  
Outside the car window the dark forest streamed past them along with the falling snow.The snow somehow lighted up the dark forest, but only enough to give it an even graver look.  
Ayumu looked up,above the trees,searching for the moon.

There was no moon up tonight,but even if it had been it would´ve been hidden behind the carpet of clouds above them.Ayumu couldn´t shake the feeling that the forest would look much more...magical and welcoming...moonlight is one of the things she can  
remember clearly.  
How it would feel to look up at the moon on a starlit night...somehow it was the only thing she could remember.

Other than that she had seen things that felt familiar, like all the girls in the car with her and the way they acted.  
She also still felt a strange urge to grab those pigtails,they didn´t seem right.  
No,something´s definately wrong with those pigtails, Ayumu concluded.  
But before she had the chance to reach out at the driver the drool girl,no,Tomo-chan, interrupted.

"Hey,Osaka-chan,wasn´t your house around here?"

Ayumu turned to the girl that was sprawling all over the seat,stretching over the glasses girl and spiky ha...no,Yomi-san and Kagura-san.  
Somehow Ayumu sensed something would happen before she got the chance to answer,and right she was.  
The two girls,veins visible on their foreheads, simultaneously kicked and punched Tomo back into her seat.  
"Get the hell back!" They yelled in chorus.  
There came a loud "thump" as Tomo was thrown back into her seat,but the energetic girl just grinned at the others uproar.

"Hahaha,you two should see your faces,all red and puffy."

"Well that´s because you shoved your hyperactive,hot body into our faces you moron, all that energy make you all warmed up."

Tomo put on a smirk.

"I´m hot alright, and don´t you know it?"

The two girls blush at the insinuation, but they still manage to be appalled.

"Just what the heck are you getting at here,Tomo?"Yomi practically screams at Tomo.  
Tomo,however remain unfased and put on an even more smug smirk.

"Oh, you know, you couldn´t resist me even if you wanted to."

Ayumu´s eyes return to the forest and the argument ceases to exist in her world,her mind is elsewhere, somewhere deep inside those big,dreamy eyes.

After another 20 minutes of driving the huge fourwheel drive up to what Chiyo-chan had called a cabin once,but what really was a two-story house the size of their summer house.  
The girls mope as they gaze at the building.

It´s brown with red roof tiles and white door and window frames, making it blend right in with the surroundings.  
The windows are dark,hiding whatever interior inside.  
The girls get out of the car and start the task of getting their baggage from the trunk.

As the other girls struggle Chiyo pulls a key out of her pocket and walks towards the frontdoor.  
Tomo, however, has another idea.

Stealthily she sneaks away from the other girls,working with their luggage.

Ayumu, who has no luggage, looks at Tomo and gets the feeling that something like this has happened before.  
Suddenly pictures of past days flash through her mind and the memory of Tomo tossing the key to the summerhouse away makes it´s way back into the bowels of her inner self.

I have to stop her,I don´t want to spend an hour or more outside in this cold...or do I...it is pretty beautiful,the snow is so white here and it´s really pretty.´

A quick glance at the dark forest change her mind and she acts.  
She starts to run after the sneaking Tomo and reaches out with her hand.

"ah! Tomo-chan,don´t!"

Tomo doesn´t even look back , but instead she smirks as her hand is about to grasp the key and her victory.

Then three snowballs connect with her head, tosses her off balance she slams into the wall.  
Chiyo acts with trained hands and before Tomo gets her wits together again she quickly unlocks and open the door.  
Tomo turns and sit up, her face red from the cold snow dripping on her face along with a disappointed expression.

"I just wanted to give everybody an enjoyable memory to look back on."

Yomi looks back at Tomo with an expression that could´ve melted a pole and scare the devil.

Throwing her second snowball she says. "We already have one of those you moron, I don´t want to experience another."  
Tomo easily dodges the second snowball and sends one of her own sailing towards Yomi.  
Yomi dodge as well,but she´s not prepared for the following Tomo who tackles Yomi and sends the two sprawling into a pile of snow.  
As the two bestfriends tumble eachother in the snow Sakaki and Kagura walks up to the body of Osaka that lies shaking in the snow.

Muffled sounds like sobs can be heard from the body.

The two rivals share a concerned glance before Sakaki bends down and touches Osaka´s shoulder.

"Hey,Osaka-san,are you alright?"

The sobs become even more violent at the sound of Sakaki´s concerned voice.  
Again the two rivals look into each other´s eyes and without a word they agree.  
The two of them reach down and gets and arm under Osaka to support her weight.  
As they pull her up however they realise that she wasn´t crying.  
Osaka´s laughing her foot off, her whole body is shaking violently, partly because of the cold,but mostly due to the laughing.  
Her face is covered in snow and blood is running from her nose,but she doesn´t notice.

She´s laughing too hard.

"Ahhaahahahahahaha,hahahaha..."

"Osaka-chan,what is so funny?" Kagura asks.

"Hahaha,hehehe..oh I just remembered the last time this happened,hehehehe.Tomo-chan was right, I did look back and laugh."

Still worried about the fragile girl Kagura wipes abit of snow off her face,if only to get her attention.  
Osaka flinch abit at the sudden touch, but lets Kagura complete the motion.

"You´re amazing Osaka-chan, you broke your nose and you didn´t even notice. Now how about letting us take you inside to treat that nose? I think the cold is getting to you as well,wearing those thin clothes of yours."

"Huh? I´ve broken my nose? That´s not a problem,watch."

And before either of the two can react Osaka has snaked her right arm loose,reach up to her nose and twist.  
With a very audible crack the nose slips into it´s right place.  
"Itai!" Osaka yells as the shock of pain surge through her.  
Rubbing her nose carefully she says. "It didn´t look that painful when that guy did it on tv."

Kagura and Sakaki stare at Osaka,their mouths wide open.

"Y-you tried twisting your own nose back when you´ve never done it before?"

Osaka looked back with those big eyes, glaring like Kagura had just been surprised to find that water was wet.

"Well...yeah, it looked really easy. You just pull in a certain degree, depending on how it was broken, and with the predictable amount of force needed. Look, I´ll break your nose and show you."  
Osaka began to reach for Kagura´s nose, but apparently the swimmer had other intents and stretched as far away as she could while still supporting the other girl.

"No, thank you. Instead let us get you inside before you faint or something."

"Too late." Came the reply and Osaka went limp in their hands.  
Stunned the two girls look at the limp girl between them for a few seconds.  
Eventually they sigh simultaneously and a "Baka" can be heard from Kagura.

They walk in the door and leave the last two girls to wrestle in the snow, but now Yomi´s cursing was replaced with laughter.

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Inside Chiyo had gotten a fire running and was already preparing supper since the girls hadn´t eaten since the hospital cafeteria.  
She heard the others come inside and take a seat,but she were too busy with the food to go out to them.  
After a good halfhour or so she had the table set and everything looked just as it should.  
Entering the living room she spotted Osaka lying on one of the couches under a blanket, Sakaki sitting next to her , cleaning her face with a wet cloth.

"What happened to Osaka-san?"

"Ah, Chiyo-chan. It´s not serious, she tripped and fell and ended up full of snow."

Before Sakaki could give Chiyo the whole story, Kagura broke in.

"Yeah, and she broke her nose, but she just reached up and twisted it right back into place. She´s hardcore!"

"She broke her nose?"

Chiyo ran over to the girl lying on the couch to look at the petite girl.

"Is she ok?"

"Yes, Chiyo-chan, she´s quite alright, she fainted outside,but she´s just sleeping now."

"She fainted!"

Chiyo didn´t seem to hear the comforting words of Sakaki and Kagura, all she could think of was the fact that they had persuaded the doctors against their will to let Osaka go so early and now she was hurt again.

She closed in on the pretty face and stared at her eyelids, praying that they would open.  
She clasped her hands on either side of Osaka´s head and whispered.

"Wake up,wake up, wake up, wake up, wake u..."

Without warning Osaka shot up her eyes and said.

"Surprise."

Instantly Chiyo staggered backwards and would´ve fallen had it not been for Sakaki´s quick thinking.

Laughing Osaka sits up in the couch, eyes closed.  
Suddenly the laughing stops and Osaka stares out into space.

"I wonder what muscle controls laughing."

Kagura frowned at this.  
"What do you mean,muscle? You laugh when something funny happens."  
Osaka´s head creepily slides to her right, her stare landing on Kagura.

"Yeah, but you can´t laugh for real unless something funny actually happens, or you remember it."

Still deadly serious Osaka tried showing them by laughing.  
What came out sounded forced and fake.

"What are you trying to do Osaka-chan?"

"I am showing you that it is impossible to really fake a laugh. You try."

"Err...no, thank you, I get your point."

After alot of staring the fighting pair Tomo and Yomi come into the living room.

"Hey, people, what´s up?"

Even as it seems impossible Osaka´s neck twist even further and she´s now looking straight across her shoulder.

"We are discussing laughter."

"Err...o-k..."

The girls stare at eachother.

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Eventually the girls wind up around the dinner table and are left to dig in.

Chiyo´s hard efforts does not go to waste as nearly everything she prepared is eaten and compliments are thrown in her direction during the whole meal.  
Even Yomi who´s usually on some sort of diet or the other decides not to ruin this opportunity, and thus digs in like a madwoman.

As the meal is finally finished the girls decide that retiring to the living room for abit of rest is a good idea.  
The girls talk about old times and what fun they had during the years they had.

Osaka sits abit off to the side and listens to the conversations floating around the room.  
Some of what is mentioned comes back to her,but not too much of it.  
As it comes back to her she laughs and dream as if it was happening to her at that exact moment.

For the first time since she woke up does she really recognise her friends.  
Looking around the table she remember events experienced with every last one of them and a few containing their two favourite teachers , Tanizaki Yukari and Kurosawa Minamo, as well.

Suddenly Tomo jumps from her spot on the couch aside Yomi and digs through one of her bags.  
What she pulls out was surprising, but not unwelcome.  
Out of the bag she pulls several cans of beer as well as three bottles of sake.

"Now!Lets DRINK!"

Before any the girls could grasp the situation Tomo had them playing drinking games and was herself downing sake like  
only she and Yukari can.

Osaka and Chiyo stared at the glasses of sake in front of them, Sakaki ,who Chiyo had expected wouldn´t drink, was taking sips at her glass everynow and then,looking quite used to it.  
Chiyo felt the moral fighting with her responisilities to her friends inside of her. Eventually she looked at Osaka who was staring at her own glass, Osaka´s stare was, however, off in dreamland.  
She let her gaze wander across the other girls around the table, Tomo,Kagura and Yomi were getting tipsy and even Sakaki had a faint blush across her features.  
Sighing and saying a mental "What the hell." Chiyo dived into the sin that is under-age drinking.

At first she didn´t feel a thing, instead the sake tasted unexpectedly good, but after a few seconds she felt a hearty warmth spread in her chest.  
Somehow she ended up having to drink alot due to the game Tomo was leading, and after finishing her glass it was immediately refilled by a drunk Tomo.

Osaka finally got back to the present and said out loud.

"I wonder if sake has anything to do with sakura...does sakura taste like sake,or is it the other way around?"

"No,actually Osaka-san..." Chiyo began,but for some reason her brain didn´t want to cooperate so the sentence was left hanging.  
"Uhh...no..."

"Oh...ok...well...kampai,Chiyo-chan!"

"Kampai,Osaka-san!"

The two lightweighters somehow drained their glasses in one go,something which left Chiyo slumped in her chair, wondering why things spun so much when she moved her head.  
For Chiyo things went very fast, it was like time was sped up abit, but her senses had been dulled.  
She saw, but didn´t spot. She heard, but didn´t listen. She felt,... that she had to go to the bathroom.

Sakaki had only been sipping her drink lightly and was keeping an open eye on Chiyo, who now suddenly decided to cultivate green as a colour for her face.  
Sakaki didn´t waste a single second, she got up, grabbed Chiyo and ran towards the bathroom. The bobbing up and down , however, didn´t exactly help on Chiyo´s condition.

Luckily the bathroom wasn´t far and Sakaki had enough time to set Chiyo down and get out of the room before she embarrased her.

As she could hear the sounds Chiyo made Sakaki for once thought that Chiyo wasn´t very cute.

After a good ten minutes Sakaki opened the door, afterwards she wished she hadn´t. Chiyo´s head was resting on the side of the toilet and most of the bowl was covered in a reddish liquid, some of it on Chiyo herself.

"Oh, Chiyo, how could I let this happen?"

Sakaki walks over to Chiyo and pulls down the lid of the toilet, seating her on it.  
After making sure she´s sitting properly Sakaki takes a towel, dips it in some hot water and begin cleaning the little girl.  
A few minutes later she takes the now sleeping Chiyo in her arms and carry her upstairs to her bedroom.  
Upon entry Sakaki fumbles abit around for the lightswitch,but eventually decides to risk her way in the dark.  
Without too much of an effort Sakaki makes it to the bed, undresses Chiyo and gets her under the sheaths.

As she is about to withdraw Chiyo has other plans. Her small arms reach out for Sakaki as she pulls away, while Chiyo´s calling for her in a half-slumber.

"Sakaki-san..."

Looking at that cute face Sakaki couldn´t disappoint her, so Sakaki got undressed as well and went to lie next to Chiyo.  
After not too long both of them fell asleep.

Meanwhile underneath the party was still going, the "serious" girl getting strangely good along with the three bonkuuras.


	5. Chapter 4: Recovery?

A/N: A warning to those of you that hated my Chiyo "accident" in my previous chapter, there will be another miniscule amount of it here. Then I ask of you to look beyond the "reddish fluid" and read on about poor Ayumu.

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Sakaki was awoken by the bright mountainsun shining on her face through the window. As she opened her eyes she protected them from the sun with a slender arm while she sat up on the side of the bed.

Her head was abit foggy after the big dinner she´d eaten yesterday as well  
as the alcohol she´d partaken in.

Sakaki had never been one for drinking lots of alcohol, instead she got very easily intoxicated. When she considers it she has already done quite a few "improper" things in the grips of alchohol, in fact just thinking about it is putting a deep red on her face.

To rid the face of it´s predicament Sakaki let her thoughts wander through what had happened last night and what will probably happen today.

Then she remembered Chiyo-chan.

Sakaki turned around to look how the little girl was doing. Chiyo-chan was lying on her side, facing away from Sakaki.  
Deciding that it´s time to wake her up, Sakaki leans over and rustles the younger girl´s shoulder.

The face that looks back isn´t the cute Chiyo Sakaki´s grown used to.

Chiyo´s eyes are halfopen and droopy , abit of snot is crusted right under her nose and she got drool all over her chin.

"Sakaki-san?...uhhhh...gulp..." And before Sakaki can react Chiyo-chan is up and running towards the bathroom.

Sakaki decided against following to check on her, and decides she can take care of those problems on her own. Instead Sakaki goes downstairs to start preparing breakfast.  
After a good halfhour Sakaki got a good and nourishing meal set. Lots of juice and fruits because fluids help on a hangover.  
Sakaki was happily humming as her rival entered through the door to the living room.  
Leaning on the doorstep Kagura was still abit drunk, still half asleep and had a headache that could tear apart Mount Fuji.

"Could you please, please stop the infernal humming? It´s slowly ripping my head apart and if you continue for another second it won´t be a pretty sight."

"Ah!...Gomen...I got breakfast ready as an excuse." Sakaki replied with a rare smile.

Yomi who had just entered behind her said "Breakfast?" and put a hand to her mouth.With a pained look on her face Yomi disappeared through the door to join Chiyo.

With something that looked like a triumphant smile Kagura threw an insult after Yomi as she retreated.

"LIGHTWEIGHT!...urgh..."

Before she started to feel like joining the two herself, Kagura walked over to the table and sat down.

"Would you mind pouring me some juice, Sakaki?"

The tall girl didn´t respond , but went over and got her rival a glass of fresh juice.

After a few minutes of thinking and feeling sorry for oneself and such, a third drunkard found her way to the kitchen and seated herself. Tomo wasn´t quite as genki as she used to be, but when compared to the three others Sakaki had seen so far she was a sunbeam.

"Ahh, that was a great party last night, I´ve even got the worst hangover I´ve had in months, my head is like a planet with a core about to explode."

"Then why the heck are you so damn loud?"

Looking completely innocent Tomo looked over towards Kagura. "Because it´s morning. And in addition the sun is shining and Yomi´s regretting she challenged me last night." The last part came out with a wide grin..

Suddenly a thud can be heard against the kitchen window. The three look at the white lump of snow slowly finding it´s way down the window. When they can see clearly through the window again they see Osaka running around in the snow with a big bandaid over her nose, tossing snowballs at everything and nothing, playing like she was a five-year old. All the while laughing like a kid.

"That´s it! How can she be even more energetic than me? She was still drinking when I passed out last night!"

"Hah! That´s what I said yesterday, she´s hardcore!"

"Just how can Osaka be hardcore?...She´s Osaka for Kami-sama´s sake."

"I don´t know, but look at her. And she even broke her own nose back, you gotta admit that that´s pretty hardcore."

The two stared at eachother for a while and then looked out on Osaka who finally tripped into a heap of snow and lay there laughing for a while, before getting up and walk inside, exhausted.

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After breakfast the girls gather in the living room, a map of the surrounding region spread out on the table in front of them. "Soooo, where are we going to go play?" There comes from a giddy Tomo.

Yomi starts to open her mouth, but is quickly shut up by Tomo again.  
"DON´T SAY IT! I know you´re gonna complain about that it´s not playing, right?"

"Uhm, ye..."

"Shut up! We´re having fun in the snow and if that´s not playing then I don´t know, and I don´t want any stupid comments about how grownups don´t play, because that´s a load of bull."

Before Yomi even gets to open her mouth in protest, Tomo nearly pounce on Chiyo.

"Chiyo! I´m sure you know about all the good slopes and such around here?"

"Ano... Not really , it´s been years si..."

"Ok, then! Then we´ll go HERE!" Tomo yells and points at a random point on the map."

The rest of the girls bend over to see where Tomo´s pointing.

Kagura who´s leaning over Tomo´s shoulder points out the fact that it´s about a 7 mile hike through rough terrain."And you see this green stuff here along the pointy lines?" Tomo nods.  
"That´s a steep hill clad in bushy undergrowth about 75 metres high."

With the disappointed look of a child Tomo turns to look into Kagura´s eyes a few inches away. "Oh...so...no go?"  
For a second Kagura almost goes along with the stupid idea, so pleading are Tomo´s eyes, but she catches herself after a few seconds.  
"No, you moron, and don´t look at me like that!

Puzzled Tomo looks back. "Like what?"

Noone noticed, but Yomi was growing very tense.

" Like that! You look like a lost little child I just want to take in my hands and..." Suddenly very aware of her own blushing Kagura leans away and puts her hands up infront of her in defense.Now Tomo was smirking instead of pouting, and an idea started taking place in her head.Tomo´s smirk changed into something...confident and her eyes weren´t very innocent anymore, quite the opposite.Tomo´s eyes now looked as if she intended to be a very bad girl, and Kagura felt the blush on her face heat up even more.  
Tomo took the last step between the two and grabbed Kagura, one hand behind her waist and the other up under her arm and behind her neck.

Kagura stuttered out a protest , but Tomo silenced her "Wha...what are you doi..glmpf.." with her tongue.Tomo´s grip wasn´t hard or at all forced, but somehow Kagura couldn´t find the strength to push her away.Kagura felt a good feeling spreading and her body. This was the most intimate she´d ever been with someone, it was so close, so hot, and after a few seconds Kagura melted in Tomo´s arms and didn´t do a thing to resist.

Yomi left the other girls to their moping with a muttered "I gotta go to the bathroom.".

Not too long afterwards Tomo broke the kiss and looked into Kagura´s eyes. Kagura kept her eyes shut for a little longer, till she finally realised it was over, and when she did she slumped together on her knees, blushing like never before.

Abit puzzled Tomo looked down on the tan girl, she hadn´t thought things would go this well. It didn´t take long , however, for her to put up her usual facade of Tomoness.

"Ahahahaha, that´s what happens when you get a taste of this, now lets go play!"

Osaka cheered and joined Tomo to the run for the outdoor clothes, Chiyo and Sakaki shared a glance before following them, this left Kagura on the floor, staring into empty air for a minute or so before she got up and ran after them.

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A few hours later the girls came back inside, hungry, sweaty and tired. Chiyo lead everybody to the backside, where she showed them her family´s huge hottub. Chiyo herself only took a quick clean before she ran off to prepare dinner.

The girls sighed in pleasure as they let the hot water envelope their bodies. This was just what they needed after a few hours in the snow. Even Tomo was exhausted and when she entered next to Yomi, she tried to lean against her, like she´s done so many times before. There had been so many times when Tomo had been either exhausted or drunk or even shaken from fright, and all those times she could trust Yomi to be there with either kind words or harsh words, but always a shoulder to lean and perhaps cry on. But this time that shoulder wasn´t there for Tomo. As she snuggled up against Yomi´s back and leaned her head one that oh so good shoulder the shoulder gave in and disappeared.  
Tomo´s head went underwater for a brief moment as it went away.

Surprised Tomo looked after her shoulder, but Yomi´s head was turned against Sakaki and she didn´t seem to have noticed. Before she could try again , however, Yomi disappeared out of the hottub and into the showers.  
Feeling very lost Tomo looked at Yomi´s back disappearing behind a wall, Tomo didn´t have a clue about what had just happened.

Suddenly she could feel a thump and soft hair on her back. Before she could turn Osaka spoke.

"Heheh, looks like Kagura´s exhausted, she´s sleeping on your back Tomo-chan. Aww, she looks so sweet."

Tomo couldn´t see Kagura´s face, but she could feel her head resting on her back, somehow it felt very comforting to have it there. Tomo shifted just enough so that Kagura´s head could lean on her shoulder instead. Looking at her Tomo can´t help but feel a little...fond... of Kagura. She looks kind of cute.´ Tomo didn´t even notice that she was stroking Kagura´s hair.

After a little while Chiyo came and said that dinner was ready. The girls left the tub, Kagura abit groggy, and soon Ayumu was behind schedule. As she was pulling on her skirt she saw something fall out of Sakaki´s bathroom purse as she left the room. As soon as she got dressed properly Ayumu went over to pick it up.

It was a packet of razor blades.

"Hmm, I better give these to Sakaki." But as she looked at them Ayumu couldn´t help but feel a certain...familiarity with the blades.Hesitantly she opened the package and pulled out a blade, and a flash came back to her.  
She saw herself cutting a first cut in her wrist, and remembered that it had felt so good, it had made all her worries flow away.  
At the moment Ayumu couldn´t feel anything that worried her, but the movements were automatic.

She went over to a sink, pulled up her sleeve and looked at her wrist. It was covered in old scars. As she looked over them she remembered a few of them, and why she had done it. She saw herself being separated from the others as she had to move again, after the graduation and a pained look grew on her face. She remembered being told her parents had taken their own lives and tears welled up in her eyes. And then she remembered reading their last note to her, claiming that now she was old enough to take care of herself and that she shouldn´t follow their example, even if the world was a cold hell.  
She remembered...and then she started cutting.


	6. Chapter 5: Cracks

Don´t abandon the thought of a YomiXTomo pairing just yet, things are just beginning, and with the speed I´m writing things might take forever >>. Sorry about writing so slowly.  
When you do read this, though, bear with me, ok?...things may turn out abit hard to predict...even for me...but that´s how I write.

Disclaimer: I do not own the song "Lilium" from Elfen Lied. This is the song that is hummed further on, you´ll know it when you read it.

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Five of the girls were already sitting around the dinner table, waiting for their last friend to join them.

And they had been waiting for quite some time.

Tomo, impatient as ever, decided that enough was enough and that she shouldn´t have to stay hungry with all this great food in front of her. "Itadakimasu". And before anyone could say anything Tomo was grabbing this and that, shoving random foodstuffs down her throat in a speed that complimented her usual genkiness.

The others waited another minute or so before they to decided that Osaka probably was off in dreamland or somewhere they didn´t quite dare think about.

Yomi spent her time, pushing rice and fish around on her plate. Her mind was elsewhere, something not in commonplace for the strongwilled individual Yomi always seemed to be. For some reason Yomi had taken the seat the furthest away from Tomo, not much to think about when taking Tomo´s usual manners in consideration. But that was a rule that didn´t count for Yomi

Chiyo , who noticed all this, couldn´t help but worry. Had something happened in the tub? Or had it happened earlier? In either case something was definately off.  
Before Chiyo could give it any further thought Osaka came in through the door.

Osaka was moving like a sleepwalker, her movements were lacking in coordination and her eyes were droopy and there was a redness around them that made it seem like she´d been crying recently. Swaying she stumbled into the room and plumped down on a chair. Looking around she saw how everyone was looking curiously at her, well everyone except Yomi for some reason.

"What is it? I´m just abit tired s´all , besides I got shampoo in my eyes so they´re stinging abit."  
Since she didn´t want to talk anymore about it, Ayumu ended the discussion by stating "itadakimasu" and stuff her mouth with food.  
A sweatdrop or two appeared on a few foreheads, but noone decided to push the matter any further. Tomo might´ve, but she was too busy stuffing her face with chicken at the moment.

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Yomi had excused herself early, something that was a very unusual event at such a feast. Offering her praises to Chiyo´s cooking she had left saying she needed to rest after the vigorous day in the snow. The weird attitude didn´t , however, pass Tomo by as her best friend left the table with a blank face. Tomo who had finished eating pretty fast ( she eats with as much energy as she does everything else ) looked at the back of her friend that was finding it´s way up the stairs. As it passed out of view she got up and followed it.

A single pair of eyes followed Tomo´s back up the stairs.

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"What´s wrong Yomi?" Tomo asked the form on the futon.  
The room had been dark upon entry and Tomo had decided to leave it like that, somehow it made things easier.  
When things were in the dark you weren´t as exposed, and things became easier to talk about.  
Now Tomo didn´t have a clue about what was going on , so she really appreciated the darkness.

"Nothing, I´m just tired, go away!" Yomi´s usual stern voice sounded strained , that was all Tomo needed to know something was wrong.Tomo walked over and sat next to Yomi, face facing away. "You do know I can tell when something´s wrong, don´t you , Yomi? And now something´s wrong."   
"No, it´s not! I am perfectly fine, now go away!"  
Instead Tomo lifted her head to look over Yomi´s shoulder at her face. "Come on , I thought I was the kid here." The only reply Tomo got was a slight shifting of Yomi´s body.

"Well, if you´re gonna be like that you leave me no choice! Move over , I´m gonna sleep here tonight , and I won´t stop with my interrogations untill you´ve admitted what´s wrong."

Tomo felt the body next to her tense up and start to shake, a few violent sobs ravaged Yomi´s body.This concerned Tomo, because it had always been her that cried, on those few nights they had spent together, not sexually, but just together.  
There was something about having Yomi comfort her that made Tomo feel so safe, so at peace and so at home in her arms.  
Now it was apparently Tomo´s turn to comfort, and it was unsettling.  
Hesitantly she laid one of her arms over Yomi side and gently stroked her stomach, the other hand went up to drift through Yomi´s hair. It was abit weird on Tomo´s part, but Yomi seemed to settle down and after a little while the sobbing subsided.

The two lay there for a little while before Yomi turned to Tomo and with tears in her eyes she kissed her.  
The kiss lasted a few seconds as neither part did much.  
Tomo was shocked, she had never kissed a girl before, well not for real, that thing with Kagura was just for fun, even if it had felt really great. Now Yomi was kissing her, and this was just as good if not better, but...

Tomo freed herself from Yomi´s arms and lips by pushing herself away. "What are you doing?"  
Yomi felt something snap inside her, this was just what she had been afraid might happen.  
Tomo backed away from Yomi and got up, still half in shock. "What was that? We´re girls!We´re friends!"  
"B..but can´t you feel it Tomo? Can´t you feel that safe, warm feeling when we´re together like this?"  
Tomo looked at her friend and assailant in shock. Of course she had felt it, but...wasn´t that just friendship?  
"Isn´t that what friends do?" Even while her inside was tearing up Yomi couldn´t help the little smile that sprung up at the Tomo´s childlike and innocent thinking. She was so naive.  
"No, Tomo, friends don´t spend nights holding eachother, but lovers do."  
"W..w..what are you saying Yomi?"  
"I´m saying that I love you!"

Tomo´s eyes changed several times in a few seconds, how was she supposed to respond to this, she didn´t know a thing about love , much less love between girls, wasn´t this friendship she was feeling? "H..how?Why?...What is this?" Before Yomi could react Tomo ran out the door, and disappeared down the hallway.

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_She was on her way home from school, today they had graduated , a thing that could´ve ended everything, but Ayumu knew it wasn´t going to. She and her friends would be together, forever. Tomorrow they would go to magical land and spend the whole day just playing, if Yomi passed that is, but Ayumu knew Yomi was smart and she´d pass, or else it wouldn´t be a happy ending, right? Yes, Yomi would pass and everybody would be happy. And so it where supposed to be, forever._

_Slightly skipping Ayumu entered through the front door of her family´s house. She knew her mother was preparing her favourite dish for dinner, and now she would go into the living room to say hello to her father and have him hug her for being such a smart and grownup girl. Yes, things were wonderful._

_But as Ayumu strode into the room she saw her entire family, her parents, sit on their couch with grave faces.  
"Ayu-chan, please sit down." Her father said to her, gesturing for a seat opposed to him. _

_This was wrong, this wasn´t what was supposed to happen, why were her mothers eyes stinged by tears? Why were they both so serious? And when she thought about it...hadn´t there been a sign outside?_

_"Ayu-chan" Her father began, snapping her out of her trance. "Something has happened at my work...I have been offered a position in Hokkaido, and I´m going to take it." At first Ayumu didn´t get the point, but her brain slowly and tidily worked through the facts, and she realised what it meant._

_Ayumu rose from her chair and shouted at her father, something she´d never done before. "NO! WE CAN´T MOVE! Things are so good now! I can´t leave my friends! I can´t...I can´t...I...can´t..." As her temper drifted Ayumu fell back into the chair and buried her face in her face. Her parents rose and left their daughter to her sadness and her tears. Ayumu didn´t leave that chair untill the next morning._

_As she and the others waited for Yomi to check her results Ayumu kept hassling her self. She had to be strong, she couldn´t let the others know, then she would ruin their and her´s day. She played along and acted happy, but inside her feelings were ripping her apart. _

_During the day she did manage to ,not just act happy, but she forgot her issues for a little while and she spent a last happy day with her friends, the last day she would be with them._

_At nine o´clock PM Ayumu was at home, dialing Chiyo´s number. She looked around her room and silently cursed all the boxes. A sleepy voice greeted her on the phone. "Moshi-moshi?"  
" Hi , it´s Ayumu, I got something to tell you."  
Chiyo thought about the other times Ayumu had called her at home, and it was usually about something weird._

_"Osaka-san, this isn´t about one of your thoughts, is it?"_

_"No...this is even more serious, Chiyo..."_

_The lack of the usual suffix convinced Chiyo, what could this be about?_

_"Tomorrow...I move to Hokkaido...I won´t be able to be with you guys anymore..."At this point Chiyo could hear that Osaka was openly crying, this wasn´t anything she´d ever think she would hear. Not from Osaka.  
"P-please...t-tell the others that I´ll miss them...I can´t bear any more goodbyes...Goodbye,Chiyo...beepbeepbeep.."_

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Ayumu looked down on the bloody water in the sink in front of her and regarded her scarred wrist and the bloody blade in her hand ...She couldn´t let the others know...they´d just worry, and then they would butt in, and then she would have to share her memories...she couldn´t bother them with her own problems...they didn´t need them anymore than she does. And she wouldn´t hurt or be a bother to her friends no matter what, they were all she had left, and she wanted them to be happy every day.  
No, this was the best way to do it.

A clatter of footsteps coming down the stairs disturb Ayumu in her trance-like state. It only took her a few seconds to pull the plug and hide her scars by pulling down her sleeve. Making sure nothing is showing she gently steps into the shadowy hallway from the bathroom. She spots Tomo further down, heading towards the living room. Something seemed wrong , because she´s halfrunning. Ayumu didn´t know why, but she decided to follow Tomo. She could hear Tomo´s footsteps fade abit before they stopped dead.

Suddenly she could hear Kagura´s voice. "Uhmm, hi..." "Hi, uhm, ah...I was just going to sit in front of the fireplace for a while...to think."  
Ayumu rounded the corner and saw that Kagura was already sitting in front of the fireplace, a big, green carpet draped over her shoulders. Underneath she was only wearing shorts and a shirt. Kagura pattet the floor next to her "There´s still a spot free, if you want it." she said with a welcoming smile on her face. Tomo smiled a little, sad smile before she sat down besides Kagura and Kagura laid the carpet over her shoulders as well, it was more than big enough for the both of them.  
Tomo leant her head on Kagura´s shoulder and stared into the fire. This was nice, she felt at ease and as she gazed into the fire she saw days long past, days when she and Yomi had played together, laughed together and comforted eachother. Now her head was resting on someone else´s shoulder, but she didn´t think much of it.This was friendship, wasn´t it...still she couldn´t help but feel that she wished it was Yomi´s shoulder.

Ayumu had stood by the corner and watched for a while, it looked so nice, but she couldn´t intrude. It wasn´t in her place. Kagura looked very much at peace, stroking Tomo´s hair. Her eyes were practically shining and there was a glow over her that Ayumu hadn´t seen before. The two girls in a dark room in front of a fireplace looked like a picture painted by some dead artist.

Suddenly Ayumu heard someone gasp right next to her, she looked over her shoulder and saw Yomi stand there. Her mouth opened and she let out a whisper. "No..." Then she caught something in her throat and turned and ran down the hallway, her long, brown hair trailing behind her.

As she was looking after Yomi´s back Ayumu suddenly realised that she wasn´t the only one with problems here and her friends were so much more important than her. Her friends was the one thing left in her world, and they shouldn´t be as sad or miserable as her. In fact, I will not let that happen to them. I´ll help them!´ Kagura saw Osaka turn very serious about something and then she disappeared around the corner after Yomi.

Yomi wasn´t sure of what to do, so she had fled. She fled up the stairs and down the corridor to her room. She threw up the door and dived into the safety of her futon. How could Tomo turn to run from her arms and into another´s? How could she run away like that, just to be with Kagura instead? Had they not been friends since they were little girls, meeting in a schoolyard? Yomi remembered the days of the past as she cried into her pillow, shaking violently.

All of a sudden she felt the presence of someone else lying down beside her.  
She felt arms embrace her and a very soft voice whispered to her. "I am here to share your pain Yomi-chan. Just let it all out and share your pain with me."

It was Osaka´s voice.

For a second Yomi was stunned, not quite believing it. Osaka, no, Ayumu had always been kind of a loner in her mind,and she had never really gotten to know her.  
Then the now caught up to her, Ayumu´s hands were so comforting, they made here feel safe and she didn´t feel alone anymore, there was someone there with her.

Gently Ayumu started to hum a tune, it was a sad and melancholy tune, but it was also so beautiful and freeing.  
Yomi turned in Ayumu´s hands and looked into her eyes.  
What she saw wasn´t just the usual dreamy look, she could also see understanding in Ayumu´s eyes.  
Ayumu knew what was going on inside Yomi, and she wanted Yomi to share it.  
She was smiling a very gentle smile and hugged Yomi to her chest and held her there as she hummed on. Yomi let her last restraints go and started to cry, shaking softly in Ayumu´s arms.  
They lay in that position for a little while, Yomi crying the entire time, and after a few hours they both fell asleep.

By that time the earliest rays of light were shining into the room through the window.


	7. Chapter 6: You won't be alone at Heaven

A/N: First of all, I want to thank you all for your reviews. Just receiving at least one for each chapter is enough to make me want to write more, if I don´t I feel like I am letting out on you all :D.  
That Cactuar Muse, Ayumu isn´t trying to kill herself. She´s cutting herself as a way of easing her feelings of angst. She isn´t trying to kill herself...yet...: ´(...

For future situations I´ll try not to be as hasty XD, considering Yomi´s fast recovery I´ll give an explanation in this chapter.  
I think I use too long to write a day in my fic...is it three chapters that day lasted?

Later in this chapter I will be using the song "Raspberry Heaven" and I suggest you read through it instead of just skimming it, it is perhaps the most beautiful song out there and it´s meaning is something that´s...wonderful.

Disclaimer: I do not own the song "Raspberry Heaven"...but I love it...

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Chiyo looked up at the mountain outside the kitchen window by the bench she was making breakfast.   
The sun was climbing over the top and the light made it look like the mountain had a halo.  
I should show this to Osaka-san, she finds things like this interesting...If I could get her out of bed this early.´  
The last thought made Chiyo chuckle abit. No, Osaka-san is definately not an early riser.

After a little while Chiyo could hear someone entering the bathroom down the hallway. She recognised the steps as Sakaki´s and started to set her plate so that she would have all her breakfast ready to eat once she came into dining room.

Just as Chiyo was setting the last details on place Sakaki entered the room, her hair was in place and she looked like she had been awake for hours already. Sakaki felt her cheeks heat alittle at this special attention, before it occured to her that she might not be the only one getting special attention, she was just the first up. Yes, Chiyo-chan was always so nice.  
"You don´t have to do this Chiyo-chan, I can set my own plate."

Chiyo turned with a bright smile and retorted."I´m sure you can, but since this is supposed to be our last day here, before we leave tomorrow, I wanted everyone to have a perfect day. And that includes you, especially you, since you helped me earlier." Sakaki started to cultivate another blush , but then she remembered how Chiyo had looked like.  
Noting the look Chiyo was giving her Sakaki decided to take a seat before Chiyo could ask what was wrong.

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_Ayumu was on her way home from her new school. Her bag was swinging on her shoulder and the sun was shining.  
It was like the town was welcoming her. Birds were singing and children were playing. It was all very happy and like your typical cliché, but it didn´t light up Ayumu._

_She was walking along a boardwalk that had the road on her right side and on her left side was a tall,brown fence she couldn´t see through. Both sides was lined with a continous pile of now-brown snow. On the other side of the road stood a gang of boys, maybe a few years younger than her. They were standing in a circle that had heavy smoke coming out of it. They were probably smoking something they shouldn´t be smoking, but they were young, male and had a need to stand out.  
Ayumu noticed that a few of them eyed her, she was the new girl in town. One who could be abused if exploited properly. Ayumu knew she was being paranoid and cynical , but she had a reason to.  
Her good, solid life had been pulled up with it´s roots and tossed in the fire. She was still living with her parents, but she didn´t have any friends. She had never been good with making friends, and being transferred to a small town didn´t help it.  
Sure, the school she went to was pretty big , but most of the people there were so serious and being the weird girl she was she had scared them away during the first sentence.  
After that it had all gone downhill. _

_The worst part had been P.E.  
Of course they had Track & Field, Ayumu´s worst sport...And that counts for a bit.  
She was gonna have to run, no matter what. She asked the teacher if she could do anything else, but...no.  
The grumpy, old pervert was only looking forward to seeing all the girl bounce along the track and she was no exception. Even if she couldn´t bounce if she had springs for legs.  
So eventually Ayumu got up on the line along with four other girls. They were supposed to race for a lap.  
Only 400 yards, you can do this Ayumu. I know, I´ll do like Tomo-chan, I´ll be nr.1 for the first part of the race!´  
As the flute sounded Ayumu spread her arms and sprinted for what she was worth.  
For a split second Ayumu couldn´t see any of the other girls and felt a sting of joy at perhaps not suffering complete humiliation.  
But as the second ended all the other girls sped past her, making her look like a turtle. Ayumu closed her eyes and concentrated on running with all her might. She felt tears starting to sting behind her eyelids but she didn´t care.  
She pumped her legs like she hadn´t since she ran with Chiyo-chan, sweat was dripping from her forehead and suddenly the world went black._

_Ayumu woke up as a bucketworth off icy water was splashed in her face. Above her she saw the cloudy sky, the sun shining behind the clouds. Suddenly she could see the unshaven face of her P.E teacher.  
"What the Hell was that supposed to be Kasuga? You think you can get off running by running headfirst into a pole?"  
Ayumu flinched as the teacher spat in her face as he shouted at her.  
"Huh?...pole?"  
"Yes, pole! That one over there to be correct!" He said , pointing out a wooden pole closeby.  
"I didn´t do it on purpose, Sensei, I was just..."  
"I don´t care if you did or didn´t! As a punishment I´ll have you run for the rest of class!"_

_The rest of the class were laughing at her accident, some pointing. Ayumu tried to laugh it off herself , but she couldn´t shake the feeling of worthlessness that grew in her._

_As Ayumu opened the gate that lead into the small garden they had, she noticed a police car parked in their driveway.  
What can the cops be doing here?´  
She entered through the front door and as she stepped inside two men in uniforms stepped into the hallway from different rooms.  
Taking a step back Ayumu asked. "Wha-what are you doing here?This is my and my parents home!"  
"Kasuga-san, I have news concerning your parents."_

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Ayumu struggled against the memory, she didn´t want to dream about this, no matter how true it was.  
She fought with tooth and nail , but the dream wouldn´t end forcing itself upon her.  
"No, go away!"

Yomi grew more and more awake as she felt something next to her stirring, and it wouldn´t end.  
Instead it grew more violent by the second. Yomi could hear Ayumu´s voice mutter something. "No, go away! Leave me!"  
Ayumu?...Why am I thinking of her as Ayumu?...And why is she crying? She´s crying?´  
Abruptly Yomi snapped out of the trance and woke completely up.  
Next her she saw Ayumu rolling from side to side, fighting with something invisible.

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_Ayumu was now getting ready for bed, she had her pajamas halfway on when she flopped down on her bed as the conversation streamed back to her._  
_Her parents had slid off a cliffside as they were driving on a road in the area. The car had been flung out over the edge and it had fallen for 17 metres before tumbling down the rest of the hillside. The corpses of her parents were almost impossible to regocnise , but identification found in the wreck proved it to be them._  
_Ayumu was still in shock, she couldn´t quite grasp that she was totally alone in the world. Even though she didn´t have many friends before she moved to Tokyo she had always had her parents. They had always supported her, and now they were gone, taken away by some cruel act of fate._  
_Ayumu slumped down on the pillow, ready to cry even more, but when her head connected she heard a crackle underneath her pillow.  
Sitting up again, Ayumu pulled her pillow away and found a crumpled note.  
As she took it up and read it she wished she never had.  
There were alot of references to "Yakuza" and "debt" and the like. Ayumu didn´t want to read it all , but she managed to read most of it. It appeared her parents had been in trouble with the Yakuza multiple times which was why they had moved so often. They explained how she was the only reason they hadn´t given up before. No, Ayu-chan should try to live life as it should, instead of being chased by organised crime for the rest of her life.  
Now that Ayu-chan was an adult she could take care of herself and their task had been done. The only thing they had in life had been each other and her, but they didn´t want Ayu-chan to live a life like their´s, no, Ayu´s life should be filled with joy and laughter._

_The last line read: "Goodbye, Ayu-chan, we´re waiting for you in Raspberry Heaven."_  
_Ayumu cried as she finally understood the text of the beautiful song. With tears in her eyes and a twisted expression of anger on her face she tore apart the note and ran into the bathroom to find a razorblade. She had to destroy herself, to rid herself of her memories, she didn´t want to be Ayumu anymore._

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Ayumu screamed at herself to stop the torment, but it didn´t appear to help. "StopstopstopstopstopstopstopSTOP!"  
Ayumu felt a pair of hands circle around her and cradle her. This was something Yomi had done a few times before, but those times were only with Tomo. Yomi could remember that singing usually helped to calm a person down, but she wasn´t sure what to sing for Ayumu. After a little contemplation she remembered a song Ayumu had sung pretty often when they had gone out for karaoke. Yomi wasn´t very confident in her voice when it came to songs like "Sarabai" but she managed to sing slow ones like this one. Shakily she started to sing.

"Carry the wings in your heart.  
Tell my heart's soft whispers.  
Now, the wind carries them

My heart's wish is beyond the heavens  
My heart's wish will be granted  
Love's key is the future

A voice is calling softly at the window  
And a vision of love appears  
Even though it is still far away  
Believe in tomorrow  
Believe in your feelings"

As the song started to penetrate into Ayumu´s mind she recognised the tune and she calmed down a little bit.  
The song was one of the few safe things she could focus on from her past.

"Raspberry heaven!You won't be alone at Heaven, I promise  
Raspberry heaven!  
Sweet tears  
Smile again at paradise

Raspberry Heaven!  
We'll meet again in the gentle dreams of Heaven  
Raspberry Heaven, I'm coming back to you  
When the flowers of Heaven have bloomed  
You and me  
Together we'll be"

As Yomi started singing the chorus Ayumu started crying for real. She sobbed uncontrolled in Yomi´s pajamas and hugged fiercely at Yomi, hoping that the sensation of her wouldn´t go away.  
Yomi was abit pussled at Ayumu´s reaction, but she decided that she wouldn´t stop now. It did seem to have some calming effect on her after all.

"The chasing light  
Illuminates a map to happiness  
Look, isn't it wonderful?

Now, the light calms me  
I'll say goodbye to sad faces  
And find the jewel of my heart

"Come close to me" the voice says  
The love makes me sway  
But I cling to happiness  
I'll wait for tomorrow  
I'll wait for my feelings.

Raspberry heaven!  
The waves of happiness are Heaven's  
Raspberry heaven!  
I'll cast myself to Heaven  
Where could I go in this vessel?

Raspberry Heaven!  
Hold me tightly in the fun dreams of Heaven  
Raspberry heaven, I'm coming back to you  
When paradise's flowers have beautifully bloomed  
You and me  
Together we'll be"

Eventually the sobbing person in Yomi´s hands calmed down enough to be quit, before Ayumu looked up and into Yomi´s eyes.Ayumu´s eyes were pleading , longing and begging.  
"Do you promise?" Yomi was caught off guard, she hadn´t expected this.  
"Promise what?"  
"That when I come to Raspberry Heaven I won´t be alone. That you´ll be waiting for me.That I won´t be alone!"  
Ayumu´s filled Yomi with something she´d never felt before, it wasn´t quite what she felt with Tomo, but it was alike.  
Without thinking Yomi answered, there wasn´t a doubt in her words or eyes.  
"I promise!"  
Ayumu´s eyes filled with hope and in a second she was again cradled against Yomi´s bossom, crying like she never had before.  
She was crying because she was happy, and it was the best feeling she had ever had.

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A/N: Heh, I´m sorry for being such a slow-ass...this wasn´t supposed to end up this short , but I think it would be nice to end it like this. To be honest I started crying a few times as I wrote this, I do that...I´m an emotional person, ok?... Besides, "Raspberry Heaven" is one of the most beautiful songs out there. I really hoped you read the song as well and took in the meaning of it.


	8. Chapter 7: Tomo´s Choice

A/N: Heh, I´m sorry for being so slow...three weeks before an update?... But since I´m here I gotta warn you about the lime content as well...yes, there´s lime... 

And I´m also sorry it´s such a ridiculously short chapter...feel free to hit me...:(...

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Tomo felt the tugs of sleep trying to hold her down as she started to wake up.  
Her side and neck was aching infernally, maybe they had gotten that way since she was sitting and sleeping with her head on someones shoulder?  
Sleepily Tomo sat up properly and turned to say "Ohayo" to Yomi, but it wasn´t Yomi that was by her side.  
No, sitting next to her was Kagura, who was sleeping quite soundly...in fact she was snoring.

Tomo blinked a few times, before she decided to try and remember what had happened last night.  
It didn´t take her long to remember her fight, if you could call it that, with Yomi. Yomi had kissed her...it was still so surreal.  
Wasn´t it just friendship in the end?...but then Tomo couldn´t remember any other friend she´d ever been so close with. And she would never even consider in the slightest getting a boyfriend, not when she had Yomi. Boys had never appealed to her, they couldn´t take a joke, were big and hairy and they always tried to ignore her.  
Not that any had succeeded yet, Tomo finished with a grin.  
The male body had never interested her either...she´d seen penises by now and she weren´t impressed. She had heard other girls talk about how hot a guy was and when she saw him herself she didn´t see what was so special.

What had interested her though was the other girls. In fact she felt a bit awkward with her own chestless body.  
When she looked on Yomi and the other well developed friends of hers she could sometime feel a tingle in her abdomen, something that made her want to try and squeese those big breasts and...

Tomo caught herself in her thoughts. What the hell am I thinking? Am I turning into a lesbian now?´ Suddenly she heard a little voice in her head. "You´ve always been one, you moron." Huh? Who the hell are you? and why are you spying on my thoughts?´ The voice chuckled "Hehe, I´m you, I´m Tomo. Your conscience, if you will."  
'Well, I don´t want you, go away!´  
"No can do, sorry. I´m here to make you admit your feelings to yourself, so you won´t ruin things for your..."friends"."  
'I am in full control of my feelings, now go away.´  
"If that´s the case then...Look at Kagura-chan's breasts, really look at them and tell me that you don´t want to reach out and squeeze them.."

Decided to prove this annoying voice wrong Tomo looked towards Kagura´s chest. Two huge mounds were strutting against the short tee-shirt she was wearing. After the bath yesterday Kagura hadn´t bothered to change into something special before dinner and was wearing the tee-shirt she usually wore as pyjamas, the only thing was that it was beginning to get a bit small for her, and since the fire had gone out long time ago, and there were two shallow bumps indicating her nipples...  
Tomo kept focusing on the breasts and it didn´t take long before she realised she couldn´t take her eyes of them. They were so...exposed...  
Tomo felt her hands unwillingly reach forward to just feel how they were. Nonono, I can´t do this, that would mean I´m gay!´  
But her thoughts didn´t stop her hands from reaching forth to squeeze the two, big, soft breasts and... Chiyo´s voice did.  
"Breakfast is ready you guys! Come and get it!"

Instantly Tomo withdrew her hands and turned away from Kagura with a terrible blush. Kagura woke up to Chiyo´s voice and rubbed her eyes. Smiling confidently as always she turned to Tomo.  
"Slept well?"  
Tomo didn´t turn to Kagura, but muttered a "Yeah, sure."  
Somehow taking it in stride Kagura got up and strolled into the kitchen, breasts strutting.  
"She should cover those up." Tomo muttered to herself as she tried to work off her blush before going into the kitchen, however thinking about that didn´t exactly help.  
The small voice was rolling on it´s back from laughter.

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As the four sat around the kitchen table, sending juice and foodstuffs to eachother, Yomi came walking in through the door to the livingroom."Ohayo, minna."  
She greeted them, waving one hand and stifling a yawn with the other one.  
"Ohayo." Came the general reply.

"Yomi-san, have you seen Osaka-san yet?"  
Taking a seat Yomi grabbed a roll and started buttering it.  
yawn "Yes, I have, Ayumu-san said she wanted to freshen up before she came downstairs.  
Suddenly, everybody was looking at her.  
"What? Is something wrong?"  
Chiyo tilted her head a bit before answering. "Ano, it´s just that you called her "Ayumu-san", that´s the first time I´ve heard you, or for that matter any of us, call her that.

Yomi froze, why had she called her that? Why hadn´t she said "Osaka" as she´d always done?.  
"Hmm...I´m not sure myself...maybe I did it because we´re adults now and it seems more appropriate to call her by her real name, right?"  
Tomo was about to object, but then she realised it was Yomi talking, so she kept her mouth shut instead.  
A few comments that may have been words supporting her were muttered around the table, but no-one made a big deal of it.

After a while Ayumu came down, looking abit worn, but otherwise in good shape.  
She gave a cheery smile as she entered.  
"Heyo, minna-san!"  
The usual "Ohayo!" greeted her and Ayumu sat down by the table and reached for the rolls.

The day went along pretty much as it had planned to, nothing weird or unusual happened between the girls as it had the other days.  
Tomo got along with Yomi somehow, keeping her newest quirk in mind.  
When she looked at Yomi with her new eyes, Yomi was really attractive, and Tomo could feel that hot feeling grow in her.  
This wasn´t the usual warm feeling she had, which she now considered love...no...this wasn´t warm...it was hot, but...there was a problem...She also got that feeling from Kagura.  
Kagura didn´t have the exact type of charm as Yomi did, her's was one that Tomo felt familiar with, except for the fact that Tomo wasn´t sexy at all.  
But being the genki girl she is Tomo ran around, played with both of them and tried to cheer everyone up, she wouldn´t ruin today with such things.

After dinner and a few hours of talk and rest the girls got ready for bed.Tomo, however, had a little dilemma. She was sharing room with Yomi. A small room with two futons right by eachother.  
Tomo couldn´t help but fidget around as she was getting ready. She went into the bathroom and put on her pajamas, Tomo had never liked to show her body, partly because she felt so insecure of it. Most of her confidence wasn´t fake, but that little part about her body was.  
Tomo had never felt attractive in her life and she didn´t now either, even though she was supposedly a grownup. She didn´t have hips and her chest...they had only grown a miniscule amount since high-school...maybe she was in Kaorin´s group by now?

After about 10 minutes of twitching in the bathroom Tomo finally decided to go into the bedroom, lie right down beside Yomi and try to sleep.

She went straight out of the bathroom, walked down the hall to her bedroom door, opened it, went inside and saw that Yomi hadn´t gone to bed already, in fact she wasn´t even there.Tomo felt abit cheated at first, but then she discovered that she might be able to go to sleep before Yomi came back.

'Yeah, I´ll do that!´

Tomo ran to her futon and tossed herself on it with a thump. She closed her eyes and tried to think sleepy thoughts...sleepy...sleepy...but instead they became ecchi thoughts. Tomo froze as she laid there, what was she thinking? She would never get any sleep like this!

At that moment the door decided to open and Tomo could hear footsteps coming towards her, someone laid down on the futon next to her. Tomo didn´t turn to look at Yomi, she just wanted to fall asleep before something awkward happened.

She didn´t have time.

After about five minutes the body next to her shifted and Tomo could hear Kagura´s voice.  
"Tomo, I have something to tell you."  
The lack of suffix alarmed Tomo, something serious was about to happen, but she turned around anyway and found herself face to face with Kagura, their faces very close.  
"Kagura? Wha-what´re you doi..." Tomo was silenced as Kagura put a finger over her lips.

"Just, shut up, and let me confess"

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	9. Chapter 8: You´re dear to me because I w...

Weee, another slow update and I´m sure you love me for it...especially after that little cliffie I pulled on you guys.  
What was that? Shut the heck up and get to the matter at hand?...Ok:D

Before that though, I´d like to admit a minor Lime warning...probably nothing to be scared of, and nothing to look forward to either, so just chill...but you´re warned :)

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Yomi stood in the shadows of the hallway, partly inside the bathroom.  
The dim light made the already brown corridor browner, and somehow it created a dark and intimate atmosphere.

Yomi didn´t notice, her attention was fully focused on the door on the other side of the hall, next to the staircase.  
It had already been about 7 minutes, but it seemed like she´d been standing there for 7 hours, heck 7 days.  
The door she was staring at was her´s and Tomo´s, and those 7 minutes ago Kagura had entered it, that slut , and she hadn´t come back out.

Yomi struggled to hear any sounds that might escape the room , but for a long time she couldn´t hear a single thing, untill she could hear a voice, or the distinction of one at least.  
After a little listening Yomi realised it had to be Tomo´s, Kagura had more of a bass voice.  
Then it stopped. And for another few minutes Yomi couldn´t hear a thing.

Then, suddenly, a clearly heard THUMP is sounded, like a body against a hard surface.

Yomi bite her lower lip and feel the tears pushing in their canals. Clutching the doorway, Yomi prepares to leave her best friend and soulmate to the clutches of someone who doesn´t know a thing about her.

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Tomo was very aware of the finger Kagura had on her lips, but she couldn´t take her eyes away from those big, brown eyes of Kagura. Kagura could look REALLY adorable when she had her moments, and she was definately having one now.  
That didn´t mean that Kagura was at all sounding like she was on the humble side, not at all.  
Kagura´s eyes and face was shouting "I want you!", and Tomo had abit of a hard time resisting.

" I want you Tomo, and I know you want me. Let´s be together, tonight and every night from now on."

Before Tomo could answer Kagura embraced her, kissed her and squeesed her breasts against Tomo´s.  
Several very good sensations assaulted Tomo at once and she was giving in to them. The feel of Kagura´s embrace, her tits and her tongue in Tomo´s mouth all made the centre downstairs send jolt after jolt through Tomo´s body.  
Tomo´s was about to do something in return when pictures started flashing behind her closed eyes.

Tomo saw herself sit amongst the crowd of a class filled with other kids. The next few pictures showed Yomi and how they had argued and played since they were smaller than Chiyo-chan had been when she joined their class. She saw them playing in the sun, she saw how she had hurt her knee and how Yomi was healing it with a kiss and a bandaid, she saw them huddling under a big tree in the middle of a rainstorm , sharing an umbrella. Tomo saw countless of the times she and Yomi had been together playing with, caring for, crying and laughing with eachother.

She saw, and she pushed.

Kagura was caught off guard by the sudden push and their embrace and lips parted. Tomo sat up and leaned her back against the wall. Kagura got on all fours and started crawling towards Tomo, but she was stopped by Tomo´s arms on her shoulders.

"No, Kagura, I´m sorry...it won´t go as you want it to. I can´t do that to myself and...her."

Kagura looked into Tomo´s eyes and found determination, and she couldn´t help but let the anger well up in herself.

"What about her? She´s had the last, what , sixteen years on her? When I finally take the courage after all this time you let it pass for an indecisive bitch like h..."

Kagura was interrupted by Tomo´s hard fist on her jaw. Kagura dropped to her right as a sack at the sudden impact.  
When she got her hands under her again she felt her loose teeth and she could also taste blood. Kagura couldn´t grasp what had happened for a few seconds, untill she heard Tomo´s cracked voice.

"Don´t you EVER! call her that again! I will not tolerate that! You can call me a moron over and over, you can tell me how useless I am or even beat me senseless, and I won´t do anything but demand an explanation, but if you ever hurt or speak like that of Yomi again!..."

The threat was left unfinished , but the tone in Tomo´s voice finished it without words.

Kagura turned her head and looked at Tomo, who now had nothing but rage in her eyes. She had blown it, Tomo hated her now, and it was unbearable. Kagura had watched Tomo these last few years with interest and curiosity. And now she was sure she would never be able to have her, never. And it made her hate, it made her hate herself and that bitch Yomi, but as it was now she couldn´t take being in the spotlight of those infuriated eyes of Tomo any longer.  
With a whimper she touched her chin and jaw, feeling the injury, her hands became wet and her teeth hurt like heck.

Tomo looked at Kagura, she touched her mouth and Tomo could see the hurt rise in her eyes as they became watery at the edges, and before Tomo could say or do anything more Kagura got up and ran out the door.

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Yomi was about to turn and walk when she heard Tomo´s voice scream out her tirade. The flame that had been puffed out was re-ignited and Yomi could feel hope once again climbing in her chest. She turned once more and hid in the shadows of the door, waiting.  
After a few seconds Kagura threw up the door and charged down the corridor, she went straight past Yomi without even noticing her, and into the door to her own and Ayumu´s room.

Yomi looked after Kagura with unshed tears in her eyes, then she turned her attention towards the open door down the hall, where she could hear gentle sobbing. She didn´t hesitate for a split second before charging down the hall to Tomo. As she took a step inside the door she saw Tomo sit, curled up in a ball, with her head between her knees and her chest, crying softly.   
When Tomo sensed the presence of another she looked up and when Yomi saw the heart-ache in her eyes she couldn´t keep in those tears any longer.  
Yomi and Tomo stood and sat there for a few seconds, before Yomi´s feelings overwhelmed her and she went straight over to Tomo, sat down and hugged her tightly,  
No words were spoken, they were just two girls comforting eachother, two bodies as one, shaking softly in between sobs.

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Kagura ran inside her room, slammed the door shut and then lay down on her futon, where she occasionally punched the floor in the lack of any better outlet for her feelings.  
What a fucking moron she´d been to think that Tomo liked her, that she would actually prefer her over that four-eyed knowitall. Curse her! She´d had the chance to confess to Tomo so many times now, and she does it first when another girl takes an interest? What´s with that anyway?...

All these thoughts rummage through Kagura´s head over and over again and getting sadder and sadder and angrier and angrier , it didn´t take her long before she gives in to the feelings of rejection and the tears starts falling.  
Lying there , sobbing, Kagura suddenly feels someone shifting next to her, and the next thing she feels is that Osaka arms envelop her and hugs her from behind, squeesing her own petite body against Kagura´s firm mass.   
Before Kagura can protest Osaka starts humming a melancholy tune and it stops Kagura from interveening. Osaka´s embrace provides her with such a comfort that Kagura turns around and start crying into Osaka´s little chest.

"Why couldn´t she accept me? Am I really that repulsive? Why does it has to be this way? Why,why,why,why..why...why?"

Ayumu dug her face into the soft, brown pillow of hair just below her face, she too felt abit hurt, she had half-hoped it would be Yomi that had come to her, needing comfort.  
She had made Ayumu feel so welcome in her arms earlier, Ayumu hadn´t been comforted like that for...as long as she can remember...she´d never had a very physical relationship with her parents and the comforts usually came in forms as gifts or other impersonal things to comfort her.  
Those comforts should´ve ended after she became a teenager at least, but she´d never gotten that real, personal contact with her parents, and even if she knew it was wrong to, she silently accused them of it.   
And had for several years now.

The sobbing form in her arms reminded her that this wasn´t the time to feel sorry for herself.  
Kagura was hysterical and needed consolation, so Ayumu was going to give it, even if...it was a personal song.

Slowly, gently Ayumu started singing "Raspberry Heaven" , but even as Kagura calmed down and listened, Ayumu thought of Yomi and the promise they had made earlier.  
Feeling those old stings of sadness Ayumu eventually cried a whole lot more than Kagura.  
Something that Kagura couldn´t help but notice after some time, when her hair was getting wet and Ayumu shook worse than herself.

Kagura partly freed herself to look up at Osaka´s face. The usual happy face was twisted into something noone should have to see, because such an apparition of sorrow is just too sad to look upon.Ayumu had her eyes closed and the her eyebrows clenched as she remembered the horrors of her life and how she´d thought they were gone , but now they weren´t gone after all, it had just been a temporary hiding.

"Osaka? Osaka? Don´t cry, c´mon I didn´t mean to do this to you. Are you alright?..."

Osaka opened her eyes and somehow Kagura could see in her eyes that she had lost something as well since the last time she´d seen her.  
It didn´t take too long for Kagura to put two and two together and before Osaka got the chance to excuse herself Kagura interrupted.

"You were hoping for Yomi weren´t you?"

Ayumu flinched at the name and put her hands up in front of herself to explain, but Kagura was relentless.   
"Something happened between the two of you yesterday, right? I saw you two at the corner after Tomo came downstairs." Ayumu didn´t say anything, but she nodded carefully once, her eyes looking at something beyond the floor.   
For some reason Kagura seemed hesitant to ask the next question, so Ayumu raised her eyes and looked at her, this made Kagura get a grip and she finally got out the question she was having trouble with. "Err, could I ask you, what happened?"

Ayumu thought about it for a moment, and she flinched at what had happened, and as she told Kagura the first part she felt something break inside her and her life just spilled out, for the first time in her life she told someone of her full burden.

She told Kagura every last thing of her life and how hard it had been. This was way more than what Kagura was prepared for, but she couldn´t bring herself to stop Ayumu´s tearfilled confession of pain and sorrow.   
The painful memories kept coming, one after the other, and Kagura felt her opinion about Ayumu change drastically along with a feeling of wanting to take care of her, to protect her, grew in her.  
It didn´t take long before Kagura laid her hands around Ayumu as she let her go on, Ayumu´s story grew even worse after they moved from Tokyo, how her parents had taken their own lifes and the hard life she´d have to run afterwards, just to stay alive and kope with her already depressed self. Ayumu even told her of her cutting herself and at this point Kagura pulled away from Ayumu, hands on her shoulders she stared into her eyes and asked.

"Are you serious, you cut yourself?"  
Looking dead into Kagura´s eyes Ayumu pulled up the sleeve of her pajamas and displayed her pale, scarred wrist.  
Long, red scars covered in crust were striped across her wrist, the next longer and redder than the next.  
Kagura looked up from Ayumu´s wrist and into her eyes, and now Kagura was felling tears on Ayumu´s behalf.  
Ayumu had lived such a cruel life, much worse than her own, so much that her petty crying concerning Tomo´s choice somehow seemed like an egoistic and childish thing.  
She said as much and was surprised when Ayumu strongly objected.

"Don´t petty your own feelings Kagura, the only way to defeat the loneliness is to find someone..." Ayumu turned her head and looked to the floor. " And we both thought we did find someone...but they found eachother...I´m not sure what I´ll do..when I come home that is..."

"Those two might´ve found eachother, they were always meant for eachother, but we shouldn´t be alone because of that."  
Ayumu looked perplexed at Kagura. "Then what do you propose we do? It´s not like we can just..." Sensation hit Ayumu and the minute her eyes lit up Kagura kissed her. It wasn´t much more than a peck, but it broke away all feelings of doubt.

"Ayu-chan, if it´s only to drive away the loneliness, lets try to build something together...I feel...kinda attached to you now...especially after that confession of yours, maybe I´ll let you hear mine someday, but for now I´ll leave of with the fact that I´ve always admired your eyes. They´re so deep, so dreamy and they should be happy, because when they cry, my Ayu-chan, the whole world cries with them."

Ayumu took alittle while to work out that Kagura had just kissed her, confessed and said something extremely beautiful and touching about her.   
Eventually Ayumu made the decision and kissed Kagura back, confessing and admitting without a single word.  
It was her first time kissing someone and it made her feel more together with someone than she´d ever been.  
She kissed Kagura again and laughed out loud, it was so wonderful, she kissed her again and for the second time she cried tears of joy.Kagura couldn´t help but laugh happily with Ayumu, she smiled as she felt something grow in her, she wasn´t sure what it was, but she felt happier and happier by the second she spent with Ayumu.

Eventually the two settled down, Ayumu was on her side and so was Kagura. Kagura had wrapped her arms around Ayumu and pressed her against herself as if she didn´t want to let her go.  
The two were totally at peace, and thus Ayumu figured it was her time to make another confession.

"Kagura-chan...did you know that you just took my first kiss? I know it´s abit sad, but I kinda felt I had to say it."

"That was your first kiss? You´re twenty-three and you never kissed before?.."  
"No...should I have?...Well...I guess it was about time then." She finished with a smile.  
A mischevious grin grew on Kagura´s face. "Then it´s about time you experience something else as well."  
Almost without motion one of Kagura´s hands descended sneakily.  
"Huh?What is that?"

Ayumu let out a loud gasp as she found out.

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Heh, I gotta be a nutcase...swapping pairings like that in one chapter XD...but...this is how it worked out...  
Now don´t call this a cliffie, because I won´t indulge you with that...;)...


	10. Chapter 10: Breakfast

The sun climbed the horizon, ever so slowly as if to not spook anyone with sudden brightness lighting up the world like a flashbang.  
It managed to rouse alot birds and beasts who reside in the mountains, like it does everyday it´s not cloudy.  
The light reflected off the snow that is everywhere making the early morning in the mountains a very bright time indeed.  
And it was this bright light that had decided to reflect directly into Ayumu´s closed eyes, disturbing and eventually waking her.

Ayumu sat up, rubbing her eyes, and remembered what had happened last night. Her body shuddered abit, a good shudder.  
She hadn´t quite felt anything like that before, but she definately wanted to experience it again.  
The only regret she had was that she hadn´t done a thing for Kagura, and she would like to repay her somehow.

But first, she was going to make breakfast...and then...a creepy look came over her face.

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Tomo woke up to the sound of birds singing and a light snore. She felt arms embracing her and she was hugging someone herself, her head rested on something warm and soft that rose and descended slowly and steadily. Tomo pulled away slowly so that she wouldn´t wake up Yomi, she didn´t want to leave her arms but she wanted to do something for Yomi.  
When she was standing up she looked down on Yomi and suddenly felt awfully emotional.  
They had been together since...she could remember, and yet still they had never been this close.  
Tears made little streams down Tomo´s face as she finally realised just how much she loved Yomi.  
Silently she made her way out the door and started down the hall.

When Tomo reached the stairs she saw Osaka halfway down them already.

"Hey, Osaka!"

Ayumu turned her head and saw Tomo at the top of the stairs, she had a new air about her, she shone like the moon and Ayumu noticed tears were coming down her face, even though Tomo was smiling a sad smile.Tomo walked down the steps till she came to where Osaka was and she hugged her and started sobbing in her hair..

Ayumu was taken aback, but she hugged back and decided to let Tomo cry out, only whispering soothing sounds.  
After a little while the sobbing stopped and Tomo started talking with a low voice.

"Osaka...no, Ayumu...I don´t know how to thank you..." Ayumu started to say something , but Tomo silenced her. "Let me finish...please... Yomi told me everything last night...yes, everything...and it pained me greatly...why didn´t you tell us?...We would´ve helped you, we wouldn´t let you live like that and we couldn´t have forgiven ourselves if you ever took your life."

Tomo felt that Ayumu´s hands went limp against her body and Ayumu was starting to cry herself.

"And now...and now, Ayumu, you´ve even helped us so far along...now we definately can´t let you continue like this." Tomo broke the embrace , put her hands on Ayumu´s shoulders and pushed her up against the wall. " Life should be about the happy times, Ayumu! And now, we´re going to show you more of those times, even more than we did in high school, we´ll show you happy times for the rest of your life!. So don´t ever think you´re going to be alone again, because you won´t ever be! I promise, and so will every other girl in this house!"

At this point the girls were so emotional that they both started crying , then hugged eachother and stayed that way for a long while.  
Eventually they parted both smiling through the tears and they didn´t say another word to eachother, instead they went down and did what they had been planning to do, they made breakfast for the other two girls , put it on trays and sneaked their way back into their rooms without waking up either.

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When Tomo came in she carefully sat aside her tray. And then proceeded to sneak her way up to Yomi, where she straddled the taller girl and bent down to give her the greatest kiss she´d ever experience.

Needless to say Yomi woke up...

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Ayumu managed to get inside without waking Kagura. Setting the tray aside she bent down over Kagura. A mischevious look grew on Ayumu´s face, not so unlike that time at the beach, with the fireworks, as she leaned over Kagura´s sleeping body.  
The yelp and the sounds that followed swift were more than enough to encourage her.

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AN: So...that´s the end... It wasn´t supposed to end like this at first, but I think it´s a nice, cute and partly unfinished ending ;D Which is good, because I might do a sequel for this...not sure though...I do have other ideas I would like to put on the paper.  
I hope you´ve enjoyed it though...and that you will enjoy any of my later fics XD...

PS: I also hope I didn´t make too many people disappointed with this ending :(...


End file.
